I have heard this phrase "Not my circus. Not my monkeys" many times before, but I prefer to put the monkey first because I usually get involved with people first and then I get drawn into their circus! Haha. It really reminds me of when my boys were little and I was struggling to find balance in my home and in my sanity. I felt like a ring leader in a circus trying to direct and not get eaten by the lions or trampled by the elephants all the while trying to entertain and look like I had my act together.The reason why I really like the phrase is that it isn't my drama and I can choose to walk away from it and have no stress. Maybe I can secretly smile as well knowing that this for once doesn't involve me and I am going to quickly be on my way so that I do not somehow get sucked in!
We all have been in situations where you know that if you say something you end up looking like one of the clowns. In a moment of innocence you want to give your opinion or even try to help someone in need and you find yourself getting the short end of the stick. This reminds me of a situation at a grocery store one day when I noticed an old man in a wheelchair trying really hard to reach something on one of the upper shelves. I watched as he attempted several times to get this item. I couldn't handle it any longer and asked him if he needed any help. He turned and looked at me and loudly said, "I am not an invalid. Just because I am in this chair doesn't mean I can't do anything!" Just as he said that a few cans fell on him as well as on the floor. I bent over to pick them up and he said, "Get away. I don't need your help." I was shocked and saddened by his response. I looked at him and said, "I know that you don't need my help but I want to help you." I put the cans on the shelf then turned and got my basket and went to the other aisle. I avoided him the rest of the shopping trip, praying that God would help to heal his hurting heart
Sometimes it is easier to avoid people and avoid the inevitable conflict. I think that is why people these days do not stop to help people on the side of the road or get involved in fights or other disputes. People want to help and have giving hearts but are afraid of rejection or of getting hurt. There are many good Samaritans who have lost their lives just trying to help others. But what about the everyday squabbles especially involving social media and wanting to defend someone or even put your own opinion out there?
"Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies." Phillipians 4:8-9
Well if a situation doesn't really involve you then it may be a very wise thing to first reflect on why you are thinking of getting involved. If your motivation is anything less than for the good of everyone then you definitely do not need to be a participant. If your wanting to convince someone to see your "right" way and that their outlook is totally wrong...well that may be a great indication you might not need to jump in. If getting involved is going to cost you time that you don't have, sleepless nights, or strained relationships then please back away! There are some things that come with a cost too high to justify the heartache. If you aren't going to be part of the solution then don't be part of the problem. Get involved only if you are able to be a healthy part of a solution. And trust me...sometimes drama will not have a solution other than all parties choosing to close their mouths or choosing not to be that "keyboard warrior". Jumping onto a pile when you can bring no added value just muddies the water and makes a really big mess.
Jesus wants us to act in wisdom and be people that can bring truth to situations. Loving people even has its costs but if you act with a heart of love then you cannot go wrong. Measure your motives and make sure it lines up with the Word of God. Will you be a witness of what God would do or condone? Will others see Jesus in what you write, say or do?
Because remember, if we don’t learn how to free ourselves from all the trivial distractions then it does become our circus and guess then who the monkeys are....
❤ Jonna
