All my life people have told me that I was nice and kind. Now I know that is a great compliment! But as I have grown older and more mature no one tells me that much anymore and you know what? I am just fine with that! Now before you pass out or call one of the board members of our church...because you all know my role as a Pastor's wife...let me tell you a little about some lessons I have learned the last few years.
Nice defined is 'pleasant, agreeable,socially acceptable, and exact in standards'. Now nothing is wrong with any of those words! But my role as a Pastor's wife is to assist my husband in "leading" and "guiding" people the right direction in life. Sometimes my role is to be a disciplinarian and to speak truth when it isn't "going to be well accepted". I may have to talk to some people about a conversation or a situation so that the "air can be cleared' and that isn't going to always be pleasant or agreeable either! To do what God has called me to do and do it correctly...some people will think that I am not nice!
Now years ago I so wanted to be accepted by everyone and wanted to be loved by all. Ohhh the things I would do so that everyone would look at me and think the best and the highest. I would go on outing with ladies to places that I dreaded going and would never speak up and tell them that I was not interested in those things. I was trying to be nice and appease them. I would wear things that they made me even though it wasn't my preference and style and even be embarassed but they would never know it. I have even let them come into my house and hang pictures on my walls of paintings that were NO where close to anything I would EVER pick out and "live with it" and not tell them or speak up. Because it was more important for them to be happy and think that i liked everything they liked. Isn't that what a good pastor's wife supposed to do? Well...that might have been nice...that actually might of been more like dumb. LOL. I was miserable because I was being what I thought everyone else wanted me to be...and sadly I was not being ME. Now I know that God is not wanting me to be "socially acceptable"....He is wanting me to simply obey Him and that includes being the person HE made me to be.
We all have personalities, quirks, interests and talents that are totally unique to the person that we are and sometimes those things need to be "tweaked". Being too "nice" and a people pleaser and never speaking up and sharing likes, ideas and desires deprives everyone around you....including yourself! It can be exhausting!! Just like being bossy and a loud mouth will just turn everyone off and cause people to avoid you and not be a good example of Christ. We are called to love people and there are ways of speaking your opinion and it be done in the right way that is pleasing to God as well as everyone around you!
I came across this book by Lynne Hybels called, "Nice Girls Don't Change the World". It was a God send to me! It talks about how Pastor's wives and women in general used to stand in the background cooking, smiling and being the silent partner and after so many years Lynne had a revelation that she was called to be something better than "looking the part" of the pastor's wife and a Godly woman...that she was to take an active role and stand "next to" the pastor. This just made something jump within me and my whole outlook changed. I was trying to be something I wasn't and things weren't working out because I wasn't functioning in the place that I was to be at.
So I stepped out and let me tell you I have had frightful days! But I know that I am doing just what I have been called to do. Let me clarify something though....I don't believe in two headed monsters...that meaning I don't say I am a Pastor or a Co-Pastor....my husband is the Pastor and I am his helper and greatest cheerleader. He is not only called but WE are called and are in this together.
So let me encourage you with this: you no longer need to just be nice....God called you to speak truth and speak it in love. Your willingness to be involved in the lives of others will cause you to be sucessful. You might speak the wrong thing but if it is spoken in love then your mistake will be forgiven with much love. We no longer need to be quiet and act like perfect ladies that we "have it all together"! That has been terribly ineffective and not very attainable to anyone from the outside the church looking in! They want to see humanity and realness and the fact that you trip, fall and lose your car keys sometimes...just like them. How can we reach the lost if they cannot relate? So get out and get messy and stop thinking that what is in your heart is not valuable to someone else!
Nice girls DON'T change the world....but girls and ladies that love Jesus with all their hearts DO! I challenge you to no longer just be agreeable and socially acceptable....I challenge you to be God's voice and speak truth in love and go where He tells you to go in obedience and girl,
....you will most definitely change your world!
Adjust that Crown,
Jonna
I came across this book by Lynne Hybels called, "Nice Girls Don't Change the World". It was a God send to me! It talks about how Pastor's wives and women in general used to stand in the background cooking, smiling and being the silent partner and after so many years Lynne had a revelation that she was called to be something better than "looking the part" of the pastor's wife and a Godly woman...that she was to take an active role and stand "next to" the pastor. This just made something jump within me and my whole outlook changed. I was trying to be something I wasn't and things weren't working out because I wasn't functioning in the place that I was to be at.
So I stepped out and let me tell you I have had frightful days! But I know that I am doing just what I have been called to do. Let me clarify something though....I don't believe in two headed monsters...that meaning I don't say I am a Pastor or a Co-Pastor....my husband is the Pastor and I am his helper and greatest cheerleader. He is not only called but WE are called and are in this together.
So let me encourage you with this: you no longer need to just be nice....God called you to speak truth and speak it in love. Your willingness to be involved in the lives of others will cause you to be sucessful. You might speak the wrong thing but if it is spoken in love then your mistake will be forgiven with much love. We no longer need to be quiet and act like perfect ladies that we "have it all together"! That has been terribly ineffective and not very attainable to anyone from the outside the church looking in! They want to see humanity and realness and the fact that you trip, fall and lose your car keys sometimes...just like them. How can we reach the lost if they cannot relate? So get out and get messy and stop thinking that what is in your heart is not valuable to someone else!
Nice girls DON'T change the world....but girls and ladies that love Jesus with all their hearts DO! I challenge you to no longer just be agreeable and socially acceptable....I challenge you to be God's voice and speak truth in love and go where He tells you to go in obedience and girl,
....you will most definitely change your world!
Adjust that Crown,
Jonna
