Ever had high expectations about an event or a situation and when it occurred you were left feeling sad and disappointed because it didn't turn out as planned? Yes, unfortunately I have too. In fact, the greater my expectation the greater my capacity for disappointment.
I was reminded of one such upset when I received a candy bar as a gift on Christmas. When I was in kindergarten we drew names to exchange gifts for the holidays. I got the name of a girl that was in my class that i didn't know very well but at that moment I knew exactly what I wanted to buy her! We received an Avon magazine in the mail and in it was a necklace that had a solid perfume locket attached to it that I wanted so very bad!! It would be the perfect gift! My mom told me that it was too expensive but I pleaded and even gave up an ice cream cone and told my mom to put money towards it. The day she told me she ordered it I was so very excited!
The day of our class party came and I had my gift wrapped perfectly and was so proud! We gave out our presents and I watched as she opened it. She smelled the perfume and wrinkled her nose and without a word skipped away with her friend. I felt sad that she seemed to dismiss such a great gift so quickly and didn't even seem to like the perfume. My sadness faded a bit when I realized I was holding my gift from her...it was a strangely shaped gift! The thoughts of what it could be going was dancing in my head. But as the paper slid off the very long and skinny item...my eyes started to sting...it was a Charleston Chew candybar!
I remember crying but not a whole lot more about that day. To make matters worse, on the way home I fell asleep on the bus and was awakened by laughing students and I am sure I cried again from embarrassment.
I had an emotional attachment to that gift and certainly an unrealistic expectation about it. Just because I wanted the gift doesn't mean someone else would. And just because I would have received gratefully doesn't mean that I should have expected someone else to receive the same way. My mom found out by my teacher days later that the girls family was very poor and have been going through some very hard times. I actually needed to be happy that I got anything at all!
So this Christmas my brother in law being the sweet man that he is...bought me the horrible Charleston Chew Candybar and we all just sat around and laughed! I hate that candybar..every year somebody buys me one as a reminder! Ugh.
For many, disappointment is a common thread in life. Please consider too that disappointment with situations and with people might have more to do with you feeling disappointed with yourself. If you have high expectations for others, it may be because you have high expectations for yourself. In fact those self-expectations are probably so high that it's practically impossible to ever meet them! This is just one of the ways in which we self-sabotage ourselves! You might see the world as unfair or unfriendly because things don't happen the way you think they should or because people don't behave the way you think they should. You have to be careful not to get stuck in the cycle of disappointment!
Life is unfair and there are many questions we will never know the answers to. As God's kids we need to take life in stride and not place too much on our fellow man. I tell people all the time to not put Pastor Don or I on a pedestal...only God should be exalted. Give room for people to show their weaknesses because we all have them. Instead of being hurt; acknowledge the disappointment with the person and clear the air. Holding onto disappointment is a slippery slope and causes a root of bitterness. Learn to laugh at your own faults and that will help you excuse the faults in others.
I still have to remind myself that I should only expect the highest things from God. He is the only one who NEVER disappoints. You disappointed in someone? Well put yourself in their shoes....because the Charleston Chew you might get from them just may be the very best thing they have at the time to give and you need to recognize and be grateful for that.
You Are Graciously Adorned!
❤ Jonna
