My Charleston Chew

Ever had high expectations about an event or a situation and when it occurred you were left feeling sad and disappointed because it didn't turn out as planned? Yes, unfortunately I have too. In fact, the greater my expectation the greater my capacity for disappointment.

I was reminded of one such upset when I received a candy bar as a gift on Christmas. When I was in kindergarten we drew names to exchange gifts for the holidays. I got the name of a girl that was in my class that i didn't know very well but at that moment I knew exactly what I wanted to buy her! We received an Avon magazine in the mail and in it was a necklace that had a solid perfume locket attached to it that I wanted so very bad!! It would be the perfect gift! My mom told me that it was too expensive but I pleaded and even gave up an ice cream cone and told my mom to put money towards it. The day she told me she ordered it I was so very excited!

The day of our class party came and I had my gift wrapped perfectly and was so proud! We gave out our presents and I watched as she opened it. She smelled the perfume and wrinkled her nose and without a word skipped away with her friend. I felt sad that she seemed to dismiss such a great gift so quickly and didn't even seem to like the perfume. My sadness faded a bit when I realized I was holding my gift from her...it was a strangely shaped gift! The thoughts of what it could be going was dancing in my head. But as the paper slid off the very long and skinny item...my eyes started to sting...it was a Charleston Chew candybar!

I remember crying but not a whole lot more about that day. To make matters worse, on the way home I fell asleep on the bus and was awakened by laughing students and I am sure I cried again from embarrassment. 

I had an emotional attachment to that gift and certainly an unrealistic expectation about it. Just because I wanted the gift doesn't mean someone else would. And just because I would have received gratefully doesn't mean that I should have expected someone else to receive the same way. My mom found out by my teacher days later that the girls family was very poor and have been going through some very hard times. I actually needed to be happy that I got anything at all!

So this Christmas my brother in law being the sweet man that he is...bought me the horrible Charleston Chew Candybar and we all just sat around and laughed! I hate that candybar..every year somebody buys me one as a reminder! Ugh.

For many, disappointment is a common thread in life. Please consider too that disappointment with situations and with people might have more to do with you feeling disappointed with yourself. If you have high expectations for others, it may be because you have high expectations for yourself. In fact those self-expectations are probably so high that it's practically impossible to ever meet them! This is just one of the ways in which we self-sabotage ourselves! You might see the world as unfair or unfriendly because things don't happen the way you think they should or because people don't behave the way you think they should. You have to be careful not to get stuck in the cycle of disappointment! 

Life is unfair and there are many questions we will never know the answers to. As God's kids we need to take life in stride and not place too much on our fellow man. I tell people all the time to not put Pastor Don or I on a pedestal...only God should be exalted. Give room for people to show their weaknesses because we all have them. Instead of being hurt;  acknowledge the disappointment with the person and clear the air. Holding onto disappointment is a slippery slope and causes a root of bitterness. Learn to laugh at your own faults and that will help you excuse the faults in others. 

I still have to remind myself that I should only expect the highest things from God. He is the only one who NEVER disappoints. You disappointed in someone? Well put yourself in their shoes....because the Charleston Chew you might get from them just may be the very best thing they have at the time to give and you need to recognize and be grateful for that. 

You Are Graciously Adorned!

❤ Jonna

10 Covenants for Living!

According to John Maxwell, The 17 Indisputable Laws of Teamwork, there

is a list of 12 covenants used by Lou Holtz, the football coach at the University of South

Carolina. At the beginning of each football season Holtz would quote the

“twelve covenants” to his players to remind them of their mission. I 

have left out the last two b/c they pertained to football only : 

• We will accomplish what we do together. We share our success, and we

never let any one of us fail alone.

• We are all fully grown adults. We will act as such, and expect the same

from the people around us.

• We will not keep secrets. Information that affects us all will be shared by

all of us, and we will quickly and openly work to separate fact from

fiction.

• We will not lie to ourselves or to each other. None of us will tolerate any

of us doing so. We will depend on each other for the truth.

• We will keep our word. We will say what we mean, and do what we say.

We trust the word of others to be good as well.

• We will keep our head. We will not panic in the face of tough times. We

will always choose to roll up our sleeves rather than wring our hands.

• We will develop our abilities and take pride in them. We will set our own

standards higher than our most challenging opponent, and we will please

our fans by pleasing ourselves.

• We will treat our locker room (home/church/workplace)
like home and our teammates like friends.

We spend too much time together to allow these things to go bad.

• We will be unselfish and expect that everyone else will exhibit this same

quality. We will care about each other without expectations.

• We will look out for each other. We truly believe that we are our

brother’s keeper.

I don't know about you...but if we all lived by just these 10 covenants our world would be a much better place!

Adjust that Crown,

Jonna

Real or Artificial? That is the question!

Every year at Christmas we go out and find a real tree to decorate for the holidays. We look for one with good height and normally grab one that is wrapped up in twine to come home surprised about it's shape. We let it set for hours to give it time to unfold it beautiful limbs before we start placing lights and the zillion ornaments that I have collected over the years. 

I totally expect imperfections and work with it and appreciate the trees uniqueness. The large gaping hole in the side can be camouflaged or the whole tree can be turned! The longer limbs can be trimmed and the top as well. The sap is sticky but the smell is amazing! Oh and don't forget to water it because the dog loves tree water! 

With the fake tree we bought this year; it was so easy to take it out of the box and before you know it...it was up.  Weighing only a few pounds it is so easy to move and turn. It is totally symmetrical and perfect that as I started fluffing up the moveable limbs I realized that it can be quite exasperating! The perfection was a problem as I found myself fluffing the left side to match the right and actually went to bed that night without decorating it! The next day I continued adjusting the very pliable limbs to the extent of three days! Crazy? Yes! Artificial trees are not good for OCD people! Sure the lights are already on but despite that I sat back and found my experience lacking. What was it about this tree that was so frustrating to me? My whole life I have had real and despite the overwhelming call for this fake convenience...I was regretting my purchase! 

I think that first of all there is no substitute for the REAL thing. You can try your best to replace it and act like you have the original but in the end...it's just a fake reproduction of something that you would rather have. What do you have that is fake in your life?

Sometimes being real can be messy and can leave you exposed and quite vulnerable to criticism and to the opinions of others. But being your authentic self is an extroidinary and beautiful thing not only to you but to God. He made us to be lights to the world and nothing can replicate the value and healing powers of natural light. Don't be tempted to live a lie and act like something you are not. What you end up doing can be compared to the mess of untangling a long string of Christmas lights....It's disasterous and brings frustration!!

Be real even through the good, bad or the ugly because you are the living, breathing testimony to somebody. Someone out there needs to see the gaps, the impefections and sticky messes you get yourself in so that they can have hope that they can make it in this life too!

Adjust that Crown!

Jonna

Mercy Me!

 “Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. Do not judge, and you will not be judged; do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven.” (Luke 6:36-37)

An apology doesn’t make everything okay. It doesn’t take away the hurt feeling of betrayal, fix heartbreak or even re-establish trust...but at least it is progress and a beginning. In the same way, forgiving someone isn't saying that everything is okay. It doesn’t give back time, effort, or friendships and it definitely doesn't numb the emotional hurts and pain. But it’s the start of God’s work in and through us.

God is about reconciliation and restoration and that means NOT giving us what we deserve. In Matthew 18:23 Jesus tells a parable about a king who forgave one of his slaves a large sum of money. The very same slave came across another slave who owed him a very small amount of money. Instead of showing him the same kindness he had received, he grabbed him, choked him, and threw him in jail. The king heard what happened and became angry saying, “Should you not have shown mercy for your fellow slave, just as I showed it to you?” (vs. 33).

We’ve all seen the effects of withholding forgiveness as well as the humility to receive it. Amongst family members, friends, neighbors, or co-workers relationships are broken and people’s hearts are hardened. Does anything good come from us trying to give someone what we think they deserve? Rather Romans 2:4 says, “do [you] not know that God’s kindness leads you to repentance?” It’s not the yelling, name-calling, getting even, or giving a piece of our mind that restores a relationship, it’s love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness. And I never feel better after giving someone a "piece of my mind"....in fact what I actually did was give them my peace, my self control, my long suffering as well as my dignity!

Mercy breaks down our defenses and our pride, and so we can begin the journey to reconciliation. It is paying it forward for what Christ did for us on the Cross! We were all sinners until HE came into the picture. Now we have this great advocate that leads us, guides us; when in all actuality we are so very undeserving. 

Once you start giving Mercy you will see that Mercy will also come your way. It is what attracts people to Christ. Mercy is just an attribute of love that can only come from the Father. God help us be people of mercy! 

"But he’s already made it plain how to live, what to do, what God is looking for in men and women. It’s quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor,
be compassionate and loyal in your love,
And don’t take yourself too seriously—
take God seriously"! Micah 6:8

Adjust that crown!

Jonna

Can you Feel the Kick?

I love reading the account of Mary, the pregnant and soon to be mother of Jesus visiting Elizabeth while they were both with child. It is the “prequel” to the well-known story of the birth of Christ. Luke 1 states that when Mary greeted her older relative; that Elizabeth's baby leaped and in turn she loudly spake a blessing.

You may not be physically pregnant, but we all carry a promise from our Father. It may be in form of a word, a blessing, an unexpected miracle, a vision, a dream concerning you, your family, or your children. When we as bearers of the Word of God hang out together; that "something" should kick inside us. In turn we should be leaping and speaking blessings and encouragement to each other. We have got to surround ourselves with people who speak to the promise and hope that in us. Mary knew she could go to Elizabeth...no one can identify with you like someone who is carrying life like you are. 

There are many people that make the "baby" kick within me. The hope of salvation, the excitement of life, the dream of greater things to come and the truths of God just rise up in me when I am in their presence.

This Christmas you are carrying Jesus wherever you go...you can make a difference in people's lives. You can be a light without saying one word. You have the ability to re-ignite something that might have been burned out in someone a long time ago. The Holy Spirit in you can awaken what has been dormant in a moments notice. You and I can cause a little leap and shout and the dead to come back to life. We have hope for the world living within us!

“My soul magnifies my God, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior.”

Like Mary, may we realize the enormity of our task; we carry the salvation of the world in ourselves just waiting to be birthed in the hearts and lives of everyone we encounter! Do you feel the kick?

Adjust that crown,

Jonna

The Christmas Spirit

Are you guilty like me of not "feeling" the christmas spirit especially when it is 80 degrees outside and all the songs on the radio are singing about a "white christmas" or "frosty the snowman"? So you put that fake tree up and spray it with evergreen scent and untangle all those lights that you thought you carefully packed away the year before. Then you painstakingly climb that ladder and about break both your legs trying to put lights outside of the house bigger and better than anyone in the neighborhood and yet after all that you still are not "feeling" it? So the obvious next thing to do is bake some cookies, candy and then go out into the chaos with all the other shoppers and wait in long lines to buy just the right gift and wrap it with the perfect paper and gorgeous bow and place it under the tree. You sit back and look at your handiwork but you just have this feeling that something is missing! Then finally the temperatures fall and you get to wear that sweater that you love (but everyone thinks is ugly) and you with delight turn the fireplace on and drink in all the ambiance! Ahhhhhh finally....you "feel" like it is Christmas! But yet....if only it would snow....

The problem is that we are looking for something and we aren't quite sure what it looks or feels like. The Jewish community at the time of Christ's birth missed out because they had come to expect the Messiah to be revealed in great glory and splendor and not in a manger and in less-than royal circumstances. In fact they still are looking for their messiah!

 We all equate God with glamour, glitter and glory and sometimes miss Him in the little things. We have to remember that He chose to show himself to some of the most dirtiest and lowliest of professions and in a way none of us would ever imagined! 

I believe that His arrival was to show us that His ways are not like ours. Everything man thinks is true and right are actually the opposite. The things we care about this time of year are not what He cares about at all. Now don't get me wrong...I believe the gifts and ambience of the season are WONDERFUL things! But what we yearn for are actually things we cannot buy or create. HE created the only thing that truly will make us have that Christmas spirit..it is the love of our Father in having Jesus come to this world as a baby to save a suffering and sinful humanity. What we are looking for lives within us as Christians and that is all we need. 

Hope is what we look for and when we see that baby in a manger we see our future which is laced with forgiveness, freedom and the love that every human life longs for. When we look at the star on our tree we are reminded of our God who in the heavens looks down and smiles at us. The twinkling lights remind me of all the angels who are dispatched in the supernatural to protect me. The gifts are a result of the blessings God has given me with family and friends. The ornaments are every good thing he longs to give me. Everything about Christmas leads me to Him if I choose to see it. 

Don't feel the Christmas Spirit? Well look outside yourself...Christ is in everything and we can choose to feel it or not. Don't miss this special season because it doesn't look or feel right....HE lives in me and you and for that WE will celebrate! 

Adjust that Crown,