One Sunday morning Praise and Worship started up and it was one of my favorite songs....ahhhhh....I am not a great singer at all but I LOVE to sing and especially a GREAT Song! As the song started I heard a very odd sound and I turned a little towards what I thought was the origin but didn't see anything odd. But I continued to hear a very weird-pitched moaning sound and I turned around again to look for the child who was horribly hurt or the animal that was surely dying and then I realized....it was the man directly behind me that I had never seen before! He had his eyes closed and mouth WIDE open showing every tooth and was singing soooooo LOUD that I couldn't even hear myself. I thought, "My God. Someone stop this madness! The Bible says to make a joyful noise but this is just torture!"
I know that this sounds very selfish. But I couldn't sing at all. All I could think about was this man who had the worst voice that I have EVER heard in my entire life. Surely he could hear himself and know that he was keeping people from entering into worship, right? I mean, the entire song was destroyed and to make matters worse...it was my favorite Jesus Culture song. I even nudged Don, who seemed unphased from the major distraction and he looked at me strangely and shook his head as if to say that he didn't hear it. UGH. I tried to close my eyes and focus on the rest of the worship service but to no avail. My entire head was filled with the man whose voice should be in the Guinness World record book!
Finally worship was over and my ears were ringing and I actually had a headache from the event! But while Don was preaching someone walked up and handed me a note; it was a scrawling hand-written note that was barely legible and in short said,
"Please pray for me. I am going through some stuff. I have had thoughts of not wanting to live. My family and I are are not doing well and my wife has left me and I haven't been able to see my children. Today is hard for me since it is Father's Day and I don't feel like a good dad. I really enjoyed praise and worship at Mercy Gate. It encouraged me more than anything that God loves me and that is really all I needed today. Thank you, _____"
After getting that note I texted the person who handed it to me and asked who it was from and their response shocked me, "it was from some guy who was sitting right behind you this morning." I quickly texted the person back to find him; after turning to see that he was gone, but they said that he already had left. My heart sank and I felt a cold sweat form on my forehead and for the rest of the service I was in a different world. I just remember looking at Don while he preached and only registering his mouth moving as he spoke but I did not hear a thing. All I could think about was my horrible selfishness earlier that morning while a person was hurting within my arms reach on the second row of this great church.
Wow...did conviction hit my heart! We forget that it isn't about the music, the words or what our worship even sounds like. It isn't for us at all...it is about our Creator. James 4:6, 10 tells us,"God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up". Our worship to God is a very humble and reverent action and if our minds aren't in that mode then we aren't truly worshipping. We have to get rid of the distractions that WE allow to enter our heads and FOCUS only on Him...that is true worship. We all have different kinds of distractions and everyone's worship looks and sounds so differently. But Frank worshipped that morning with all his being and made a connection with his God and I believe that he came to our church that one Sunday just to teach ME a lesson. (side note: You see...you can be the Pastor's wife of a great church, the Leader of the Year or the seemingly most devout Christian but daily we ALL have issues that need to be dealt with. You just have to be real enough to admit them so other's can learn.)
Short prayer: "God forgive me of my proud attitudes and thoughts. It truly is all about you. Thank you for not giving up on me despite my selfish preferences and opinions. Help my eyes to be open to others and their needs and to have compassion and act in love despite my own comfort. Please continue to create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me. Because Father this church thing is really just ALL about you and what you are doing in OTHER'S lives through me."
Don't Judge Meeeeee... Adjust YOUR Crown :))
Jonna
