Most of you know that I work at a Level One Trauma Center in downtown Houston, TX. It is one of the busiest Emergency Rooms in the United States and is the only hospital in the Houston area that has a Psychiatric Center that is open 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. With that being said I see and experience LOTS of VERY interesting things during my work day. Unfortunately one of the growing needs and concerns is in Mental Health whether that is due to addiction, trauma, psychiatric crisis etc. Questions regarding suicidal thoughts and plans are now a basic question that we ask every patient that walks through the door.
Almost every patient that states that they are actively suicidal and having thoughts or plans to hurt themselves also state that they hear voices. Every single incident that I have talked to patients about voices they say, "The voices are telling me I am worthless, stupid, ugly, never going to amount to anything, waste of time, no one loves me.." Never do they ever tell me that the voices are saying anything good or positive about them. Most say there are multiple voices and they argue amongst themselves about how 'bad I am and why that I should die and not live'. The patients sometimes tell me, "the voices are so loud and they never leave and they are driving me crazy so all I want to do is die so that they will finally stop and I can finally rest." This admission of course is mind-boggling and so incredibly sad. I have my own thoughts about what these patients need in regards to deliverance and often times feel such a strong demonic presence that I am rebuking Satan all the while working. These shifts are my most exhausting but I am so blessed that I have a group of people that pray for me daily that covers me and gives me an extra hedge of protection.
The reason why I am sharing this is because sometimes we too hear voices...maybe not on the same level as what I just wrote about...but we listen to lies of the enemy and it can be just as destructive. It is truly amazing how we can decree and declare the promises of God over our lives and feel infallible and that we are going to go out and kill giants with our mighty sword and we are prepared with the armor of the Lord! But someone says something about us and we are suddenly naked in the corner sucking our thumb and are listening to voices telling us that we are rejected, unloved and unfit to do anything for the Kingdom!
The fact is this...when we are weak in our communion with God; those are the times that we fall prey to the enemy. I have experienced this before and found myself in a deep pit of depression and then suddenly my eyes were opened and I thought, "Why did I even think like that? What in the world was I doing?" If you will allow it; the enemy can actually place blinders on you and you don't even realize it! That is why you have got to let people speak into your life...friends, pastors and leaders can hold you accountable and ask the hard questions to help you know if you are going the right way or not. You also need to stay in the Word and in prayer so that you can discern the voice of God.
"When the enemy shall come against you like a flood the Spirit of the Lord shall lift up a standard against him". Isaiah 59:19
In reality the enemy can come against you but the Spirit of the Lord will like a flood swallow up the lies that Satan throws at you and send them and him packing downstream! The Word also states that you need to demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ! (2 Corinthians 10:5) For the Lord has great plans for YOU and they are to prosper you and not to harm you, He has plans to give you a hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11) You just need to listen for His voice in your life and discern and ignore all others :))
Keep shining for Him,
Jonna
